Optimism

     I don't know what was up with me when I wrote that first blog post.

Wait, that's a lie. I feel insecure maybe once a day. But so does everyone! I think I maybe feel that way more than I should, I think a lot of us might. Pushing past that is part of realizing that our worries are occasionally unbased in anything actually troublesome.

So push past all those feelings as fast as possible, as hard as it might be. It just won't help you much to think that way.



(Am I channeling Dr. Phil? What is this?)

What I've Realized

     -Times Square/Midtown is the tourist epicenter of the universe.

     - The song Kid A by Radiohead has lyrics...How have I heard this album so many times and never noticed that before?

     -When one of your suitemates gets sick and you can hear him coughing through the walls it almost makes you feel all right about him eating the food you bought for yourself without asking you first. 

     -That I said the word "you" a lot that last bullet point.

     -Manhattan isn't as picture-perfect as it is in blockbuster movies, far from it. In fact, its grime and vomit sprinkled streets may surprise you at first! Get over it. Do you see how many people live here? The beauty comes with the community. With the boroughs that somehow span every demographic and social status possible. Art is amazing here. Start taking photos, start reading, start going to films and independent concerts. It'll take your breath away. 

Is Everything I Do Second Rate?

    Please excuse the overly-emotional title. The angsty title, even. But consider for a brief bit that I'm posting onto blogger, or formally blogspot, and not onto wordpress. Does that make any sense? Wordpress seems so much more refined and renowned. Blogspot, instead, takes a corner seat in the cafeteria and eats by themselves. Wow, I must be feeling really Jr. High today. Okay, let me try to pull this back.
    I thought that my talent would warrant me at least a glimmer of recognition during this first week of NYU classes. I thought that I'd have new friends texting my phone so much it'd vibrate for minutes on end. I thought, that at least, I'd feel like I belonged. But, as noted before, I'm posting now on blogger. NYU Local rejected my application. That's not even this school's official newspaper! It's their fucking blog! And I wanted to write for that fucking blog! My writing isn't up to par, boom, roasted.
    Earlier this year, around June, I submitted a film I made in my Senior Year of high school to the "All American High School Film Festival." The even is huge, and first annual. Which means that not only was it my first chance to submit to that festival, it'd also be my last. I submitted my film, proud and excited, and also uploaded it onto YT so that my FB and Twitter friend/followers/acquaintances could watch it. After some positive feedback, I was feeling pretty great! A future NYU classmate even asked me which festival it was, he'd liked my film and was wondering where he could find more content such as it, maybe submit one of his films too. I sent him the link to the festival. Two days ago the selections were announced. His film was chosen and mine was not. My filmmaking is not up to par, boom, roasted.
    And now I sit here, in the basement of Third North Residence Hall, waiting for my laundry to finish drying, looking over all the books I have to buy, typing out this blog post, rummaging through my insecurities and realizing that no one ever will read them. If anyone does, let me know if I used too many commas. Fuck it, just tell me how to do this better.

Thanks a bunch.

- David